Stoddy, how dare you choose filthy Tab land over the glorious possibility of the Grounds of Oxford. Worcester college ground has no equal and you could make a pilgrimage to Keble where I made my maiden test half century, spanking the legendary Paul Hayes to all parts.

HELLO I AM THE CAPTAIN AND SECRETARY OF THE MUTINEERS CC(LEEDS)WE WOULD LIKE TO TOUR CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY AND PLAY FRIENDLIES V THE COLLEGES WE ARE A NOMADIC SIDE OF REASONABLE LEAGUE CRICKETERS COULD I BE GIVEN ANY CONTACT NAMES AND NUMBERS PLEASE?